Lessons to Learn
Author's Note: I decided to use two plot points from the Ramayana and turn them into lessons that a father wants his son to understand.
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I remember when I found my father's journal. My mother passed when I was young, so he was the only family I had. The journal was full of memories and stories from my childhood that he decided to write down. It was touching to see how much he carried about the time we spent together, although he was always worried about if he was doing good enough as a single parent. The journal entries changed when around the time he got sick. The entries were now addressed to me. He left me the lessons he wanted to teach me, but didn't have time to. He hid these lessons hidden for me in a story, the same one I will tell you.
Now son, I want to leave these lessons behind for you to find in my journal. I hope I get to see you grow old before I pass, but no matter how old you are when you find this the lessons will hold true.
Journal passed on to son by by HenrikandLewis
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When looking at battlefields you can always find those who hang onto their life even when wounded, and this man was no different. The only difference in this man is his birth. This man was a king, he had decided to help the king of the gods in their battle against the devil. He was brave, because as a mortal man he could be killed much easier by these devils. His mortality did make a difference as he was mortally wounded. In his breaths he thought of his lack of heir, that is when a witch came to him in his visions. The witch spoke to him in a raspy voice, "A king is still but a man, even he is not above death."
"Please, help me and I will use my resources to compensate you handsomely," whispered out the king.
"I will heal you and abate your troubles, but in return I will ask for two favors"
"Done," the King said with what should have been his final breath. This breath was caught by the witch, and with her magic the king would find life once again. When his eyes opened he had no wounds, and felt well again. "Oh Witch, how can I repay you, I have a Kingdoms' resources at my disposal," said the king.
"I have saved your life, and also given you that for which you wished. I can assure you that you will have heirs to maintain your kingdom even after you final breath. For these two tasks I expect you repay in full. In the future I will come to you and ask for two favors. Be ready for when I call," the witch said. The last of her words sounded as if the came from the wind itself as her form seemed to disappear.
The witch held true to her promise, as the king aged he had four sons. His oldest being the most special. His oldest was blessed by the gods. His kingdom was stable and he loved his sons. As they grew so did his love for them, and so did his fear for what the witch would ask for in return. Considering how amazing the sons she had gifted him, her favor would have to be crazy to repay his debt to her. Over time though though all was peaceful, his kids were able to mature happily and grow into fine adults. The king feeling himself age decided that he would name his oldest as his successor, and that is when the witch decided to visit.
"I want your favorite son, send him to my forest for fourteen years. If he survives you can have him back, if you live that long as well you aging king."
The king was hit with sorrow and could not sleep that night thinking of sending his oldest son away for fourteen years, the kings anxiety would be quelled partially when he gave his son the news. One of his other sons quickly decided to accompany his brother into the forest for the fourteen years. His other sons only saw their own opportunities to take the seat from their older brother as the heir of the kingdom. Sadly the king's anxiety returned as his sons refused any help he offered to keep themselves safe for the journey. The sons took only rags for clothes, a spade, and a basket. That day they headed out.
A father watching his sons spend fourteen years in danger will cause a lot of sorrow. Sorrow may be only an emotion, but it still carries a very real weight. If it grows heavy enough it can crush a soul, the only happiness the king had was how he had at least seen his sons grow into respectable young men. Two days after his sons left the sorrow reached a weight too heavy for his aged shoulders to carry and in his sleep he breathed that last breath that witch returned to him. He was thankful for his sons, but regretted his promise to that witch.
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Bibliography: Ramayana Public Domain Edition
Authors: M. Dutt, R. Dutt, Gould, Griffith, Hodgson, Mackenzie, Nivedita, Oman, Richardson, and Ryder.
Hi Travis! Good job with the story! I liked that you condensed the story into a journal from his father. It made the story feel more personal to the character and I liked that your writing style followed that of a storybook. It made it feel very nostalgic. I also liked that you took 2 points from the Ramayana and connected them in a way that made sense with the lesson that you were to trying to convey. The connection between the 2 plot points were pretty seamless. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Travis!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story! I liked how you made the 2 plot points connect to each other. Also, having it be about lesson that a father was teaching his son was genius. I feel like doing the story this was it allows us to connect to it much easier. This definitely reminded me of a story book and I totally enjoyed it! Good work and cannot wait to read more.
Howdy Travis, you’ve done a great job transitioning between these storylines. I feel as though you’ve made this entry a lot more intimate than the source material; we had more time with the characters in such an open vulnerable state – which is always difficult to manage well. I’m looking forward to your future writings for this class as the semester progresses.
ReplyDeleteHi again Travis! You have added a twist to the classic Ramayana and it was brilliant! At the beginning, I forgot it was about Ramayana and it was a brand new story because of the incorporation of a journal. My favorite thing that you have done was writing the last sentence: "He was thankful for his sons, but regretted his promise to that witch." You phrasing it in this way, made me think - would the king have wanted sons if he new that this would be the outcome? Thank you for causing me and your audience to think in this way. I never even thought of that question when I read the PDE Ramayana version. You did an excellent job!
ReplyDeleteHi Mr. Hachimura,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your take on one of the more heartbreaking parts of the Ramayana! I have never thought about it like this before and your version gave another perspective on the story. The last part "He was thankful for his sons, but regretted his promise to that witch." hit really hard and made me think about things from the kings perspective. If I remember correctly, this part of the Ramayana did not have any first person account so the fact that you added dialogue really added to the story. I also liked all the vivid imagery and descriptions that you used. It helped add another layer to the story that was missing in the source material. I can't really think of any other ways to improve it because I think it is very good as is!
This was wonderfully written, good job! Looking forward to your next story!